No, drunk sperm still make babies.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
