don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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