i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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