Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
