jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
