i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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