no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
