I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
