So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Sorry my hands just texted you
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
