she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
