I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
well you can't waste a boner
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
