you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
