apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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