; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
