Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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