Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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