Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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