whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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