Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
