this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
