He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize