We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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