Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
