dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
