Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
