Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
