You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
