Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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