Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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