can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
