he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
