It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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