Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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