I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I think people are normalizing furries
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