I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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