He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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