So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
what day is it and did you see me today?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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