Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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