Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
