Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
