So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You're a waste of cheezeits
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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