I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
