The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
