Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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