Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
