found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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