she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
