Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
