Yo dont text me then not text me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
