I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Drunk is not a location!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
