i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
